I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
