Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize