Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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