Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
