i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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