And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
