he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
