Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
