i barfeds in our rink
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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