oh god the rape fog is back!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
