he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
