you mean i was at the winter classic?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize