the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
