Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
