Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
