I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
