You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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