That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
