Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
