Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i've created a new STD.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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