You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
