you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
