Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
