girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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