I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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