I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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