I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
