And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
third nipple confirmed
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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