office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
