We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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