so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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