Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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