My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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