nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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