For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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