This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
