I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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