Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
