May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
