so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
