Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I touched a dick in church today
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize