Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
