You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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