Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
