For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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