Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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