He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
