I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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