Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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