The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
