is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
