cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The power of my boobs compel you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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