a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
