no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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