not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
