Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
