Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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