Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize