i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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