He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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