I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
