Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just threw up on my dentist
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
