How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I want to be your penis for a week.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
