whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
