so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
