I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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