he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize