Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
