she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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