she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
