Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
