Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
